Happy mother and daughter

Help The Girls In Your Life Glow With Confidence

You’ve had your highs and lows. Your walks of fame and your walks of shame. And if there’s one thing you’ve learned from your experiences, its that confidence is the key. There is no situation that cannot be handled by holding your head high and shaking what your mama gave you. And now, its time for you to pass the torch. You’ve got a niece or a daughter and, if you teach her anything in this life, you’re determined that it will be the power of confidence. But, how can you do it? How can you show this shy acne plagued girl that she has so much untapped power at her command? Here are a few ideas.

Manage Your Inner Critic
Your girl is probably pretty hard on herself. Teach her to take notice of her inner voice. Would her best friend talk to her like that? Teach her to work on changing negative thoughts into helpful feedback.

Focus On the Good Things
A lot of teens focus so much on their problems, that its hard for them to see all the things that are going well for them. Suggest that she write down three good things about herself everyday or three ways she’s able to bring about a positive change in her life daily.

Mother and daughter

Don’t Aim For Perfection
Teach her that any achievements are valid. Even if she doesn’t get a perfect mark on a test, it doesn’t mean that she didn’t do well. Encourage her to always put in her best effort.

Mistakes Are Learning Opportunities
Remind your teenager that if she can fix her mistakes, they are not mistakes at all, but victories. Don’t let her get down on herself for messing up and remind her to focus on what she can do better next time.

Don’t Compare Yourself To Others
Teach your girl that her own accomplishments are the only ones that matter. Trying to get ahead of other people will only leave her further behind them.

Accept Compliments
She’s great and needs to get used to people telling her so. Advise her to give herself time to absorb a compliment and take it seriously, and pass it on! Complements should be given and received.

Happy teenage girl

Exercise
Staying physically active always helps to improve self-esteem. She’ll look better and feel less stressed while staying healthy.

Take Pride In Your Thoughts
If she’s a chip off the old block, your girl probably has a lot of good ideas to offer. Tell her to be bold about them. If someone disagrees, it just means that they see things differently than she does.

Accept What You Can’t Change
Sure, there are going to be things about herself that she’s not completely happy with. If its something she can change, like reaching a healthy weight, she should start today. If its something she can’t change, she probably notices it more than anyone else, and its probably not worth obsessing over.

Contribute
Nothing builds self esteem like helping to make a positive change. When she sees how much she can accomplish, her self esteem will sky rocket.

if you have a girl in you’re life that you want to see flourish, tell us about her. Let us know what she’s doing to build confidence and how you’re helping her do it. We want to hear all about it.

Shopping and looking at herself in the mirror

Resveralife Live Well: Shopping and Self-Esteem

We have all heard of people indulging in a little “retail therapy.” This common maxim is used to describe shopping as a means of increasing our current moods or ridding ourselves of some stress. As it turns out, the idea of shopping being related to our psychology and self-esteem is not quite as far-fetched as we may have originally thought. As a culture we practice what is known sociologically as conspicuous consumption. Essentially, conspicuous consumption is spending money on goods that are intended to demonstrate our social status. Often, conspicuous consumption refers to the purchase of expensive or luxury items, which are recognized as prestigious status symbols. Studies conducted recently indicate that “retail therapy” is not just a term thrown around when we want to feel better about ourselves by buying. In fact, it seems that our spending habits, particularly of luxury items, are directly related to our self-esteem.

Researchers Niro Sivanathan, assistant professor at the London Business School, and Nathan Pettit, of Cornell University, conducted clinical studies in a lab that were intended to delve into the psyche of what our spending really says about our self-esteem. The results of these studies confirm that we are far more inclined to spend, especially on higher priced items, when we are experiencing periods of low-self-esteem. Why are we buying particularly when we are feeling down? One of the reasons indicated by the studies suggests that we buy in order to create an impressive exterior sense that we are well off. The second reason truly is retail therapy: we shop when we want to soothe internal pain regarding how we perceive ourselves.

Quite simply, psychological forces impact our decision to shop. We all face a great number of challenges daily, and the blows to our egos can be tough to take. It is in these moments that, according to researchers Sivanathan and Pettit, we desire to increase our conspicuous consumption. Additionally, it is interesting to note that the research conducted also indicated that not only do we spend more, but we do so paying mostly with credit cards when our self-esteem is low. The general hypothesis is that using credit cards as a means to purchase high-end goods helps us decrease any guilt we associate with spending large amounts of money.

When we say we are indulging in retail therapy, it really is a truth. Our self-esteem and attitudes towards ourselves influence our shopping habits. We turn to shopping as a means to alleviate stress and as an attempt to improve our perceptions of who we are. Self-esteem can of course be improved by means other than shopping, and it is advisable to learn other habits of coping with stress and low self-esteem. While shopping definitely does bolster our self-esteem, in the long-run it is not a permanent fix. Grabbing some friends and heading to the mall for a day of retail therapy is totally fine. However, it is important to remember that material possessions do not define who we are as people.

Nude model reflecting on body image

Resveralife on Body Image

Body image simply implies to how one thinks and feels about their body. It involves a number of things such as your emotions, thoughts, actions and perceptions with regards to your body. Body image doesn’t necessarily comprise of what you see when you look into the mirror or what other people think about your body. It essentially deals with how you feel about your body as a whole. Most people end up having the wrong impressions about body image. Having a good body image isn’t necessarily about having a slim-trim figure or looking flawless. Having a good body image is all about feeling happy and satisfied with your body. Things like over-exercising, dieting, low self-esteem, anxiety and depression are more than likely to ruin your body image. To sum up, the term body image simply defines the way a person perceives his/ her body to be and assumes that others perceive the same. Body image is most often affected by social pressure, social media, television, friends and family.

What do the Statistics say?
All you need to do is to read the statistics to understand how people perceive their bodies to be.

  • About 91% of the women are believed to be unhappy with their body image. As a result, they resort to things like dieting in order to get their bodies in shape.
  • Body image is closely related with self esteem. Many adolescents have low self esteem because they “think” that they have a poor body image. This leads to problems like eating disorders, suicidal thoughts, depression, substance use or early sexual activities.
  • Approximately 5.58% of the girls in college feel the need to maintain a particular weight.
  • Almost 40% of the women and 20% of the men have considered getting cosmetic surgeries done. These statistics are the same for all ages, races, and genders.
  • Students who are subjected to mainstream media are more likely to relate body image to looking sexy rather than relating it to their overall appearance.
  • About 95% people having eating disorders are aged between 12 – 25.
  • 38% men sacrifice at least one year of their life in their search for the “perfect body”.
  • Almost 23% of the men and 45% of the women who belong to the healthy weight bracket feel that they are overweight.

How to Improve Your Body Image
Improving your body image has nothing to do with looking sexy, having flawless skin, maintaining a particular figure or whitening your skin tone. There are a number of things that you can do to improve your body image, but first and foremost, you need to transform the way you look at your body. It’s not about looking hot or sexy. Its about feeling happy and satisfied with what you have.

  • Surround yourself with positive, supportive relationships. Although we have nothing against magazines or tabloids, many of them are useless when it comes to helping you improve your body image. A number of tabloids promote negative thoughts by showing you how overweight you are or shaming you for being too skinny. This leads to negative perceptions which ultimately leads to negative relationships. You need to ensure that you fill your surroundings with people who have a positive approach to life and are supportive of you, irrespective of how you “look”.
  • Exercise regularly. Be grateful for what your body is able to do rather than how it appears to be. You don’t have to over-exert yourself or participate in extreme sports to maintain that perfect body image. All you need to do is go for regular jogs and appreciate the fact that your body allows you to move from one place to the other. Hitting the gym is a great idea as well. But, make sure that you hit the gym for the right reasons, and not to “improve” your body image.
  • Eat a healthy, balanced diet. Research has proved that almost all young women and more than half of middle aged women have resorted to things like dieting. Dieting helps you to lose your weight quickly, but the moment you stop, you’re likely to gain it back. This “weight loss, weight gain” seesaw is extremely perilous for the body and it leads to a number of health problems and heart diseases. People who resort to dieting are also known to be susceptible to eating disorders. The best thing to do is to regulate your diet and eat healthy food.
  • Set realistic goals for self-improvement. You need to understand that not a single person is “perfect”. Each human being has his or her flaws. This is what makes us unique. This is what creates and defines our identity. Try to understand that even those perfect looking celebrities have “issues”. Try to set realistic goals for yourself and keep reminding yourself that “real” people are never perfect. Perfect people are only good for one of those wax museums.
  • Avoid negative self-talk. Research has shown that our brains can’t figure out the difference between things that it thinks, says or hears at some level or the other. Therefore, if you tell a person that he/ she needs to lose a couple of pounds, it is the same as telling yourself that you need to lose a couple of pounds. Avoid negative thoughts and don’t dissuade others. Remember, your brain is likely to take in all that information and feel that the messages were directed towards you.
  • Pamper Yourself. Indulge in things like therapeutic massages, proper sleeping hours, relaxing bubble baths or luxurious spa sessions. Pamper your body whenever you get the chance. If you feel good physically, it becomes much easier to enjoy your body and love it for what it is.